A Surgery Revelation
My wife and I, at a relatively older age, were surprised, but delighted, at the births of our two youngest. Just before these two gifts entered our lives, we had relaxed on practicing natural and other preventative pregnancy options.
My youngest son was born with little to no hearing. What I mean is that at two years of age, the doctor told us that our son couldn’t hear (something I already knew). “At this age, there is nothing we can do…maybe later,” the doctor added.
The next year, during my youngest girl’s birth, I stroked my wife’s forehead and told her of my love for her while blocking her view as more and more nurses entered the delivery room, together working frantically to get my daughter to take her first breath.
"What's going on," my wife asked, trying to see around me.
I had already attended other births and known this one was different.
"Everything's fine," I answered, and then trying to change the subject, "We have three boys and three girls now."
That day, it seemed an eternity transpired before our newborn girl awoke. Two years later and her not talking caused my wife and I some concern…we just hoped.
My wife never fully recovered from those difficult pregnancies. Several years later, at a hospital, I remember holding her hand just before her seventh surgery in four years…or was it three? —time has a way rubbing memories until they’re veneer. Anyway, it was time for her to leave me...strangers in matching garb whisked my wife away behind two foreboding doors that looked like bullies standing next to a school locker. I so wanted to follow her...I felt alone.
At times like these, I always plunge into my personal Twilight Zone where I do imagine. Did I tell her I love her? What will I do if I don’t see her again?
Perhaps tragically, I imagine that I could have been a better husband.
In his book, A Mind for God, White (2006) argues that the Christian mind must be continually examined. “There is right thinking, and there is wrong thinking. Wrong thinking, in theological terms, is called heresy” (p. 19). Certainly, White was not writing to husband and wife relations, but also just as certain, had my growth and thinking as a loving husband took into account God’s Word?
Was I "right thinking?"
Do I endeavor to NOT treat her harshly (Col. 3:19, ESV)? When I examine my mind and my actions, do I temper my authority as the husband (Poole, 2008)? I.e., do I serve her as Christ served the Church (Eph 5:25, ESV)?
Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5: 25, ESV).
Do I give myself up for her?
Do I treat her with respect and love while—and importantly—serving her?
I still ask myself these same questions as I attempt to improve as a man and husband. Certainly, credit for any positive change on my part in some way is attributable to how my wife’s love for me is manifested. In that regards, she always exceeds any reciprocity on my part. Perhaps that inequality, in part, is why I continually strive to improve as a husband—as more and more I act not as a boss, but as a servant.
As for my two youngest, my son was healed two weeks after the doctor appointment. Though in middle school, he is in senior high school math. My youngest daughter? Well, she finally started talking and hasn't stopped since. She is a straight “A” student and very logical...to the nth degree...at all times...24/7...ah, yeah.
References
Poole, M. (2008). A commentary on the Holy Bible. Peabody, MA:
Hendrickson.
White, J. E. (2006). A mind for God. Grove, IL: IVP Books.