Forget About Burying Your Parents

How would you handle it if Jesus told you to forget about burying your parents? Would you stare wide-eyed and slack jawed at the Savior?

“21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. 22 But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead” (Matt 8:21-22 KJV).

Who is the man wanting to bury his dad? Tradition identifies this disciple as Phillip (Gray & Adams, 1960). The Bible characterizes him as a disciple of Jesus. When coupled with Luke 9:59-60, it appears this disciple was called to proclaim the good news (Poole, 2008). Regardless of his identity, let’s consider some circumstances that might help us understand what appears to be a harsh reply from Jesus to this disciple. After all, the man (let’s call him Bob) depicted in these verses only asks for a leave of absence so as to bury his dad.

Circumstance One: The phrase “suffer me first to go and bury my father” was a common phrase used by the locals at that time to mean not now, but soon . . . let me hold off for a while. It is possible the Bob’s father wasn’t dead or even sick (Bowen, 1984; Gray & Adams, 1960; Jamieson, Fausset, Brown, 2017).

Poole (2008) writes that Bob is saying that his earthly father is getting ready to kick the bucket. Death is near, and Bob wants to perform his duty to bury his father when the time became right.

Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown (2017) write that if Bob's dad had just died, burial would be immediate . . . that day! The law demanded it. The Torah demanded it. Bob wouldn’t even be with Jesus if that were the case. Bob would most surely follow the law (and that burial had to be within 24 hours!). Supporting this argument is that it was ingrained in the Jewish culture that the commandment to honor parents included a proper burial. And Jesus made it a point to let the Jewish leaders know that He didn’t come to break the law (Matt. 5:17-18), thus, and for this argument, Bob's dad was still alive.

Circumstance Two: The seven-day (and sometimes 30-day) period of mourning for a dead relative had ended and Bob decided to return to following Jesus in order to ask for something else not clearly evident in the question. I.e., through the years, tradition had added the following step to the Jewish burial process: After the seven-day period of mourning was completed, a waiting period of up to a year for the flesh to rot was required. Then, the dead person’s bones were placed in a small limestone or baked clay box—an ossuary—and then placed in a tomb (Tenny, 1976). If this was what was going on, Bob was requesting an extended absence of leave.

Circumstance Three: Bob’s father actually died . . . and recently. Bob needed a few days to bury and mourn his dad's death.

I’ve discussed three possible circumstances that concentrated on Bob. In doing so, maybe I’ve missed the point! Perhaps I should be concentrating on Jesus.

It is of some import to note that a third of Matthew concentrates on the last week of Jesus’ life. Even Luke (where the same story unfolds) concentrates on the last week of Jesus’ life (Marshall, 1979). Jesus, knowing that His time was almost up, stressed the importance of finishing the race. He was about to finish His race. He expected Bob to do the same.

Kee (1971) writes that Jesus’ point is that domestic duties run a distant second to those called to disciple mankind. In this case, Bob previously made a commitment to accept his calling as a disciple. Now, he wants to break that commitment. Supportively, Chambers (1963) writes that sometimes a Christian doesn’t understand why he or she can’t do what they want to do. But, in this story, is that really the case? Jesus is telling Bob why he can’t do want he wants to do. Jesus give us all the same reason: Follow me!

Perhaps, Gray and Adams (1960) capture the true meaning of this passage when they write:

The strange command (Let the dead, etc.)—1. Does not

contravene natural affection; 2. Shows that where a distinct

choice must be made, everything is to fall before the

supremacy of Christ. It also shows ‘that He cannot tolerate

the halfhearted in religion.’ (p. 50)

The Bible states that we Christians run a race (1 Cor. 9:24; Heb. 12:1). Jesus is telling Bob to stay in his lane and keep running; the fans in the stands watching the race can attend to Bob’s father. Gray and Adams (1960) write that once a man exits the race, he will find another excuse to stay out of the race. Contextually supporting this assertion is Bob’s question to Jesus: “Suffer me first [emphasis added]. . .” There will always be a second.

Explosively, the Word of God is clear about excuses! Our Lord is unambiguous (in Matt. 8:22-23; Luke 9:59-60) in that He hates a lukewarm believer. Such displeasure should not be a surprise to believers in Christ, for Revelation 3:15-16 makes it clear that God would rather you taste cold or hot; however, if you are lukewarm; He will spit you out.

Bowen, B. M. (1984). Strange scriptures that perplex the Western world. Grand Rapids,

MI: Wm. B. Eerdmands.

Chambers, O. (1963). My utmost for His highest. Grand Rapids, MI: Barbour Books.

Originally published in 1935.

Gray, K.C. & Adams, G. M. (1960). Gray & Adams: Bible commentary. Grand Rapids, MI:

Zondervan Publishing House.

Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., & Brown, D. (2017). A commentary, critical, practical, and

explanatory on the Old and New Testaments (Book originally published 1882).

http://biblehub.com/commentaries/jfb/matthew/8.htm

Marshal, H. (1979). Jesus in the gospels. In The Expositor’s Bible commentary, F. E.

Gaebelein (Ed.). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Poole, M. (2008). A Commentary on the Holy Bible: Vol. III. Peabody, MA: Hendrickson.

Tenny, M. C. (1976). The Zondervan pictorial encyclopedia of the Bible. Grand Rapids,

MI: Zondervan.